Sunday, February 10, 2013

Vampire Diaries Post Mortem: Into the Wild

You know, it's rare when I don't have a lot to say about an episode--but for the much hyped first step onto the "Lost" island off the coast of Nova Scotia. Our not-so-merry band of volunteer castaways includes Shane, the shady professor, Stefan in the role of Millionaire with Rebekah his faux wife, in the role of Mary Ann--oh yes, hello Elena while Bonnie's burning bright as the Witch Star--that leaves Damon in the role of Captain with Jeremy his erstwhile Gilligan.

Sadly, the stretching metaphor continues to play out on the screen. We got little in the way of plot advancement. We found out that Shane's wife was a powerful witch who died trying to resurrect their son from the dead. He ventured to the Island following some mysterious legend about raising the dead and fell in the hole--nearly bleeding to death.  This is where he had his epiphany and his wife told him all about how they could be reunited. He just had to arrange a few deaths.

*yawn*

Jeremy is attacked by some random islander, who is then slain by a thrown axe---and no one goes to find out who threw the axe?

Damon lets Elena go off with Stefan and Rebekah, alone so he could keep an eye on Shane.  I get that Damon doesn't trust him--but Rebekah and Stefan are hardly that trustworthy. 

Meanwhile, Bonnie casts a spell and follows a trail of FIRE into the woods and no one notices her leaving. 

Damon gets Shane's story out of him and is ready to rip his head off because at the end of the day, Damon doesn't give a damn about Bonnie Bennett (Yay!), sadly Elena intervenes.

In his second out of character moment of the episode, Damon stalks off and leave Elena alone with the professor--who doesn't waste time beating feet to get away.

*yawn*

Oh and did I mention that back at the ranch--I mean Mystic Falls, Tyler enjoys taunting Klaus until Klaus stakes Caroline and drags her into his prison and bites her. He wants Tyler to watch her die, but he can't kill his vampire barbie and eventually gives her his blood.

*yawn*

Sorry, I am just not feeling this episode, by the end of it, we find Jeremy trussed up by some witch who was waiting for Shane. He introduces Bonnie and tells her. Oh and by the way, Jeremy's tattoo isn't a map--it's an actual spell. Cue the ominous music.

Meanwhile, Damon gets into a scuffle in the dark with another hunter and gets taken down because he hesitates to kill the hunter.

Points of Order

For a show that rushes, a lot of what happened in this episode could have been done in fifteen minutes. It didn't advance the plot. Rebekkah hates being a vampire. Damon doesn't want to be human. Elena is torn. Stefan wants the cure for himself. Jeremy wants to free his sister. Bonnie is Shane's bitch. Shane's a kook with a plan who arranged lots of sacrifices and Damon is curious about the third sacrifice which is never answered...


So anything we didn't know here? Nope not much.

Sacrifice Recap

Pastor Young killed himself and eleven members of the Council to see his wife again. But Shane only arranged, he didn't actually kill them.

Klaus offed the twelve hybrids courtesy of Haley and Tyler freeing them from the sire bond.

So that leaves...?

The Originals themselves (Shane was so delighted when he met Kol and Rebekah)
The Five themselves (if the tattoo is an actual spell, that doesn't bode well for Jeremy)

or

Kol and his entire sire line filled the needed twelve to the nth power of random deaths

I wish I could be more enthusiastic about this, but I think they have written themselves into a corner with two parts of this -- we know Klaus cannot die or they won't have their Original spinoff.  So far, Claire Holt is not signed to the spinoff which means either Rebekah ends up human or dead or both. So no big shockers there and I think that weakens the suspense.

I don't buy the presence of a cure and if they wake up someone more powerful than Klaus when they haven't been able to get rid of Klaus? Yeah, not a good thing.

The bait and switch is coming, I just hope they don't take too long to get there.

In the meanwhile, where is my Elijah? I keep waiting for him to just step out from around a corner, and completely screw Shane's plans--because he's the only one Shane hasn't accounted for.

What did you think?

2 comments:

  1. Oh, how I love Elijah. There was a moment there where I kind of wanted him to hook up with Elena. He's what Stefan could've been without the whining. But no.

    I liked the Klaroline action. The little details of the blood exchange at the end. The way he stroked her hair. I love the bad boys. I want him to be only slightly redeemed. Kind of like Kresley Cole's Lothaire. He was redeemed enough to love, to be good to his woman, but at his core, he was still himself, still The Enemy of Old... if you read IAD.

    The Shane storyline bores the shit out of me. Who is he? Why hasn't someone snapped his neck yet? He seems out of his league.

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    1. Klaus would be a better bad boy if he didn't sulk over the fact that no one liked him after he ripped their lives apart and murdered the people they cared for and used blackmail to get his way. He was way scarier when he possessed Alaric than he is now--now he's just the mentally unstable Original.

      And oh, I mis Elijah. After writing this last night, I went back to rewatch season 2's introduction to Elijah. He was so quiet, refined, and absolutely terrifying because he doesn't rage or flip out. Yeah, I'm bored with this particular story too.

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