Saturday, January 18, 2014

Counting it down to Runaway Groom : Four Reasons to Avoid Small Towns

4. We aren’t going to forget that thing you did…

I know, you were twenty. I know, you were drunk. I don’t care, we won’t forget. We’ll forgive you, since you grew up to be such a nice adult and all, but we won’t forget.

3. No, seriously…

Ever. We won’t forget. We’re telling your grandkids about it.

2. We really do only accept cash.

We don’t care that all the places you’ve ever been to before accept your little plastic card, we don’t. There is an ATM over there. Use that, bring us money. Kthxbai.

1. You may never want to leave.

We grow on you. Like mold. It might be insidious, but it happens. You’ll fall in love with us and you’ll put some roots down and you’ll never see a reason to live anywhere else…even if they don’t get buried in ten feet of snow and have a Starbucks. This will become home and that will be what matters at the end of the day.

You were warned. O.o

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